Notes from a Time Traveller by Elke Stevens

Vulnerable, standing in the meadow, separated from fantasy, I expect thunderclouds on a sunny day. For I have no crime to be guilty of and yet I feel undeserving of peace.

My stress conditioned mind, only wants more of what it knows, it wants to be feed more stress.

As I’m standing in the meadow, with no protection, vulnerable, like a parent less child, I’m wishing the sun will shine until I’m home.

Reflect on what we call guilt, what I associate with guilt, I go back in time, retracing my steps. Suddenly understanding more about self-love and self-care, the wish to live and experience life.

Seeing the path that I’m walking, where I’m standing and were I’m going. To have quite drinking, stop smoking, overcoming chronic pain, tiredness, depression, anxiety still in the first stages out of my growing pains. I give up guilt. As it does not serve me to be a better person nor does it serve others.

Then, at one point, I feel the rain on my warm skin, still sunny in the meadow, I trust, that even the rain has purpose, for nothing can grow where there are no seasons.

© Elke T.B. Stevens 12/08/2020