Notes from a Time Traveller by Elke Stevens

Let it be my ego, to put beautiful Infront of whimsical, as I admit to be a stranger in an old and new life. As I hear voices say, ” what is she doing” I know from a distance there is no logic behind my movements, and I won’t ask anyone to understand, as I hardly can explain it to myself. There are no rational reasons behind my decisions, as my heart and soul are one that do it for me.

Do I control, do I have control? Yes up to a a point I do. But there are things I don’t control, I know that I don’t control the actions of others, nor do I control the outcome, “to say the outcome is only the results of a series of actions”! With this in mind I wonder how much of life is a gamble.

Life, seems to be one big experience, for me the experience of staying to long in one place, makes me feel stuck in the mud. I guess I’m not ready to settle, at least not whiting the view of linear thinking. At least at this moment, I’m good where I am in life.

I often get the question, “are you never lonely?” To be truthful, no I’m not, I have met more than one Anam Cara, and because of this I know I’m never alone, but you will need to be open to the experience, I have to be open to it, meeting an Anam Cara (soul friend), can be very overwhelming sometimes, but a very enriching experience to. This is the moment you/ I realize I’m never alone, and that they will show them selves when you need them and when you are ready.

On a journey like this, you learn that there is a fragile  balance between, independence, trust, receiving kindness, collaboration, and yes we can’t do it alone, “well you can try, but one will not get far”. As the best experience in life comes from playing together and recognising that whole of life is the result of a pay it forward.

As I sit, think and feel, I must admit that most of the time, I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know what my next step will be, until the moment to act is there. I have learned, that things, lessons, life unfolds on its own time, and that is something I still need to learn, the idea of time, patients, yes I trust and have faith, but I’m also very inpatient” like most of you know”.

Then again, don’t we all like to know what comes next? But on the contrary where is the fun in that! But as we need to learn and grow, we need changes and challenges, to become more of what we can be, to become stronger, smarter, and more compassionate.i guess I should be careful for what I wish for, It may just come true. Are we, Am I ready? Well I can’t really go back, can I? I’m living the life of a vagebond, what I always wanted, and it’s amazing. The experience I my bliss.

I can only keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone, learn, grow, love, be loved. No it’s not running, it’s becoming whole within, it’s overcoming adversity in life. I’m beautiful whimsical, I’m becoming more real to myself every day, I’m finding comfort within myself, I’m learning life is now, not yesterday not tomorrow, I remember that I’m responsible for the best life I can live.

17/02/2022 © Elke T.B. Stevens